


A Silly Alcoholic Explains Physics (or would if there wasn't a magical lunatic on his couch)

by TooFarForward



Series: You Should Write (prompt fills) [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Gen, Loki is bored, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Post-Thor: The Dark World, Prompt Fill, Tony is drunk, magic and physics are not exactly on good terms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-11
Updated: 2014-08-11
Packaged: 2018-02-12 17:27:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2118498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TooFarForward/pseuds/TooFarForward
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Title basically explains it, but there isn't really much to explain</p><p>Prompt: A silly alcoholic explains physics</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Silly Alcoholic Explains Physics (or would if there wasn't a magical lunatic on his couch)

**Author's Note:**

> Just a small prompt fill to try and get back in the hang of writing. It's short and I'm positive it's hilariously bad, but don't just take my word for it (I could be lying to throw you off the pure awesomeness that is this prompt) (not really)  
> let me know what you think down in the comments, I love hearing about what you guys think!

Tony Stark was  _not_  going to be bested by an alien with a funny helmet; not in this life  ** _or_**  the next. In fact, he was going to do the opposite and prove the guy wrong, no matter how drunk he was at the moment.

"No no  _no_ , you can't  _do_  that!" it was the nth time he'd protested the long fingers as they waved through the air, pulling at invisible strings that just  _didn't exist,_ and he was scowling at the sorcerer so hard it was amazing he didn't fall over. 

"You just do not see the way I do, mortal. Your science is just a basic version of the same thing I see." This wasn't the first time the other man had said those words, and Tony could tell he was getting irritated. Well, good. Serves him right for defying the laws of physics. 

 

Loki Lie-smith, the apparently dead demi-God, was currently occupying a space on one of the new couches in the penthouse in the -now Avenger's- Tower, the inventor sprawled out at his feet watching as the other man shifted imaginary lines to make non-imaginary visual effects. Apparently, as the God had stated upon arrival in Stark's suite, ruling an unchangeable realm was  _incredibly_  tiresome, and the trickster was up for some less dense conversation.

What the God hadn't expected was Tony Stark to be attempting to drink himself into a stupor. 

And it was a valiant attempt until a certain God of mischief turned all available liquor in the tower into water (it's a wonder Barton isn't up here by now, though he may have gone on a mission, Tony can't quite recall...).

"If I could see what you apparently see, I would have been institutionalised years ago with some form of schizophrenia." The engineer grouses, wanting nothing better than to wallow in his own self-pity and  _not_  play host to a psychopathic alien war criminal. Seriously, why wasn't the Asgardian off gallivanting with the other super-villains around? Heaven knows Doom's been quiet lately; probably making his latest swarm of self-repairing robots, GAH!

"For your information, Midgardian, I chose to return to this tower because I know it's soul occupant has a mind of which could far outreach any Aesir." The God scowled at the inventor at his feet, and Tony felt the distinct urge to stick his tongue out at the God. Probably not the greatest urge to follow.

Of course, he's Tony Stark and he followed it anyway. 

"Uh, not to burst your magical little bubble -or, yes actually, that's exactly what I'm trying to do- but 'soul occupent' no longer applies, as I've got a group of super-powers living under my roof now." Even in his alcohol addled haze, however, Tony heard the compliment in the Gods words, and wasn't about to let that go.

"And was that a compliment? Did I really just get a compliment about my total geniusness from the God of  _lies?_  This really is turning out to be a day to remember."

Loki shifted his weight, and before the engineer could make any protest he found himself pressed up against the carpet, a cold, strong hand wrapped tightly around his throat. Suitably surprised, the inventor took a moment to remember exactly who he was dealing with, before throwing caution to the wind and breaking out in a smirk that could put the cheshire cat to shame, foregoing the fit of laughter on account of barely being able to breathe as it was.

" _What_  do you find so amusing,  _human?_ " The God spat, and Tony, for the life of him, couldn't hold back. He laughed and the God on top of him made a disgusted noise before letting go of the inventor's now aching windpipe. 

"Out of all the things going on at the moment, this is probably the  _least_  horrible, did you know that, oh wannabe conqueror? In fact, this is damn-right  _amusing_  compared to the giant black hole that is my life right now."

And just like that, the inventor was no longer amused. The things he had been trying to repress with the aid of alcohol came back to the forefront of his mind in full force, and he had to stop himself from letting out a violent sob.

The two sat there in silence, staring out at the darkened skyline of New York. 

Neither of them were happy about their current life circumstances, but at least there was this. A drunk, morally ambiguous genius engineer and a slightly insane God of lies, chaos and arguably neutral alignment, sitting on the floor discussing why magic breaks physics. 

There was a lot wrong with the world -with  _both_  of their worlds-, but for tonight this was the only conversation that mattered.

 


End file.
